Something Worth Fighting For
by ngjess
Summary: What happens when the new girl downstairs only has eyes for Nick? Based on a future episode of New Girl.
1. Chapter 1

*Edited to fix names. I had a different name for Michelle until I read online that Michelle was the name of this future character. Sorry for the confusion!

Chapter 1

Nick Miller sat on his bed, his head in his hands.

_How could this have happened? _ He wondered to himself. He kept replaying things over and over in his mind.

It all started last week when that lady moved in downstairs. Michelle.

Michelle knocked on the door at apartment 4D early Sunday morning. Nick was the only one home. Jess was out doing some female bonding activity with Cece. Winston and Coach were off at some shooting range helping Winston get prepared for entering the police academy. Michelle had dark brown hair that reminded him of Jess, her green eyes piercing and nothing like the bright blues of his girlfriend's.

"Hey," she stood at the door, hands in her pockets, "I just moved in downstairs. I was wondering if you had a box cutter I could borrow. I seemed to have misplaced it during the move."

"I think I have one in my room, let me go check," He let her in while he went to find his.

He went into his room. He was pretty sure that his box cutter was in his top drawer of his dresser. He had it leftover from when he almost moved in with Caroline over a year ago, and knew it would come in handy someday. _Take that Schmidt_. Schmidt had always given him a hard time for hanging onto it. He rummaged through the drawer, sure that it was in there. He spotted it in the corner, buried under his zombie novel _Z is for Zombie. _He turned around to leave when he saw Michelle standing in the doorway, leaning against the doorframe.

He was making a turtle face at her when she asked, "You like the Bulls?"

"Huh? What? Oh," realization coming to him, "Yeah, I'm from Chicago, of course I like the Bulls."

"No way!" She entered his room and sat on his bed, making Nick's eyes go wide, "I'm from Chicago too! That's where I just moved from!"

"That, uh, that's cool. It's nice to meet fellow Chicagoans." He started towards his room door, wanting to get her out of there as soon as possible. He didn't like having another girl on his bed that wasn't Jess. "I found that box cutter for ya. You can keep it."

"Thanks," She got upoff the bed and followed him out of the room. He handed her the cutter, opening the door for her to leave.

"So how long have you lived out here?" She folded her arms, cocking her head to the side.

Nick sighed to himself, "I moved out here for school, so it's been 20 years or something. I've lost count really."

"Well maybe you could show me around LA sometime," she smiled.

"I, uh don't really think that my" the elevator door dinged open and out walked Jess and Cece. "Jess!" he was so happy to see her, he just couldn't get this girl to leave. "This is Michelle, from Chicago. She just moved in downstairs."

"Hi Michelle," Jess set her grocery bag on the ground so she could shake Michelle's hand. "Welcome to Los Angeles. Just a little advice, be careful around Remy, and watch out for outside Dave. Other than that, this is a pretty great place to live."

"Thanks, I'll keep that in mind. Thanks again Nick, I'll be sure to bring this back when I'm finished with it." She left, walking down the hall.

"She seems nice," said Jess as she picked up her bag and walked inside the apartment.

"Ha!" Cece laughed. "Did you not see the way she walked off? Her hips were swinging wider than a swing set. She is not a nice girl, I should know."

"Oh come on Cece, she's new here, she's probably just trying to impress people."

The girls went to the kitchen and put the groceries away.

Later that night, as Nick and Jess lay in bed, Nick couldn't help but feel bad, like he'd done something wrong.

"Jess I have to confess something."

"Mhm?" Jess said into Nick's chest, her head nestled against his chin.

"Michelle was in my room earlier. She sat on our bed."

Jess sat up a little to look at Nick's face. She had a little smile on her lips. "That's it? That's your confession?" She laughed.

"Yeah it is. I felt bad for having another woman on my bed besides you. You're the only woman I want in or on this bed." He searched her face to make sure she really wasn't upset at all about this. He hated when Jess was hurt, especially when he was at fault.

"It's okay Nick. I'm not upset," she kissed him softly on the lips, then looked into his brown eyes. "I trust you, and I love you Nick Miller."

He smiled at that. Hearing her say those words will never cease to amaze him. "I love you too Jessica Day." He pulled her close to him, kissing her deeply, showing her what he couldn't say with words.


	2. Chapter 2

A few nights later, it was Friday night at the bar. Nick was glad that he didn't have to close tonight. He just wanted to go home, catch a game on T.V., with Jess close to him, reading a book or grading homework. Thank goodness closing was all on Cece, and he wasn't even worried. He was impressed by how quickly she started picking things up after Jess's birthday. He figured she'd had it in her all along, but she just needed the confidence that she could be good at something else besides modeling. Every now and then, she would come up to him to get his approval on a drink, and each time he had to tell her it looked great.

Nick had about an hour left on his shift when Jess walked in with some other brunette. He couldn't see her face clearly, as she was behind another group that walked into the bar at the same time, but when he saw that it was Michelle, his heart sank. He really wished Jess hadn't brought her to his place of work, let alone spending time with her. Michelle just gave him a bad feeling, which Jess usually shrugged off as him hating everybody, but he really just did not like her.

"Hey Nick Miller," Jess smiled at him, sliding onto a seat at the bar, Michelle sat next to her. "Look who I ran into on my way out of the apartment? She was going to go to McDougal's when I told her that place was lame and she should come here with me instead!" Jess looked so proud of herself to be making a new friend.

"Hey Jess," Nick greeted her, and quickly added, "Michelle." He may not like her, but he wasn't a complete ass. "What can I get ya?"

"I'll have my usual, pink wine." Jess replied.

"And for you?" He looked at Michelle, noticing that she had been staring at him the entire time she'd been in there.

"I'll just have a beer. Whatever's on tap."

"One Rosé, and one Heisler coming right up." He turned, grabbed a couple glasses, glass stein for the beer and wine glass for Jess. He poured Jess's wine first and handed it to her. "Pink wine, for the beautiful lady."

He went over to the tap and filled the stein with Michelle's beer. He returned and set it in front of her. "I'm gunna go check on Cece, make sure she's ready to close tonight." He lied.

Cece was in the back, checking that they had enough inventory for the night. "Hey Cec, if Jess asks I came back here to give you tips, okay?" He gave her a thumbs up and an awkward smile.

"Okay…why are you lying to Jess?" She gave him a hard look.

He realized what he said sounded really bad, that he was trying to hide something from Jess. Which wasn't entirely untrue, he just didn't want another "Nick you hate everyone" lecture again. "No, no, no, no. I'm not lying to her…exactly, I'm just trying to avoid the girl with Jess."

Cece peeked out the little window in the door, a small oh formed on her lips.

"Oh Jessica Day, what are you getting yourself into." She turned back to Nick. "I can see why you wanted to get away. That girl is trouble. I didn't want to say anything before but I saw the way she looks at you. Like she's a predator and you're her prey. A girl like that won't stop until she's won her prize. Once she's won, she will drop him and move on to her next victim."

"That just makes me even more angry," he really wished he could angry fix something, but he didn't want to accidently break anything at work, or he'd have to pay for it.

"I'll talk to Jess tomorrow when I am off."

She went out the door to take care of some customers, taking a few bottles different whiskeys with her. Nick took a few deep breaths to calm himself down. He really didn't want to deal with this. Things with Jess were amazing and he didn't want anything to screw it up or get in the way. _I__'__m Nick Miller from Chicago. I can handle this. _He took one last deep breath and went back out. He saw that Jess and Michelle had moved to a booth, and that Schmidt and Coach had joined them. He was rather pleased to see the guys, they might be able to help distract Michelle.

Schmidt noticed Nick and got up to greet him at the bar. "Do you see that girl? I know what I am having tonight!"

"Yeah she does seem like a Schmidty type."

"Wow Nick, you are actually agreeing with me for once?" He beamed. "If you weren't with Jess, you would totally try to keep her for yourself. Melon Ball me Nick."

Nick rolled his eyes, grabbed a shot glass and poured him a drink. "I don't think that drink is going to impress her Schmidt. She's from Chicago. We don't drink that there."

"It's a melon liqueur Nicholas. It's classy and sophisticated, just like me." He flashed a toothy grin. "Now excuse me, I must return and win my prize."

Nick shook his head as Schmidt walked away. He finished the rest of his shift wiping down the bar and making sure the glasses were all cleaned off. The gang was still hanging out in the booth, so he figured he'd join them. He grabbed himself a bottle of beer, walked over to their booth. Coach got up, letting Nick slide in next to Jess. He put his arm around her like he always did and kissed the top of her head before taking a drink from his Heisler.

"Hey Nick," Jess took a sip from her pink wine, "glad you could join us. We were just talking about going back to the loft and playing some good ol' True American."

"True American, huh? We haven't played that in a while." He took another big long gulp from his beer. _This could be interesting. _

"Yeah!" Jess squeaked out. She always got so excited to play, more than any of the other guys. If they played without her she always got sad about it.

Jess downed the rest of her pink wine swiftly, then waited patiently as no one else seemed to have done the same. When everyone else finally finished they grabbed their things and left for the loft.

As Jess tried to explain the rules of True American to Michelle, Schmidt, Coach, and Nick set up the room. As Nick was setting up the castle, Schmidt leaned down beside him.

"I don't know what is up with that girl. It's like she's impervious to my advances," he whispered.

"She's a Chicago girl. You're going to just have to try harder," Nick encouraged.

"I sure do love a challenge," Schmidt stood up, "Hey Jess, we playing Clinton rules?" He asked, hoping that would help him out.

"Yes!" She said enthusiastically and started to explain Clinton rules to Michelle.

Nick was a little worried, the last time they played Clinton rules was the night he kissed Jess for the first time. He remembered how sexy Jess looked in her bra and fluffy skirt thing, but he didn't want their first kiss to be like that; a dare that took place during a game where it wouldn't seem to mean anything to any of them. But as he watched Jess go to bed with another guy besides him for the umpteenth time, he took a chance before he could talk himself out of it.

"Pick your interns," Jess said, snapping Nick out of his trip down memory lane.

Nick and Jess ended up on a team, Coach ended up with Michelle, and Schmidt was by himself as there was an odd number. They each grabbed a can of beer. Jess yelled out "One, two, three, four, JFK!"

"FDR!" Everyone shouted in return. Jess and Nick ran and got on top of the table, Coach and Michelle got on top of the couch, and Schmidt stood on top of one of the barstools.

As the game went into the night, more and more clothes came off and everyone got more drunk. Though Nick had seen Jess naked hundreds of times now, seeing her strip down like that made him want the game to go faster so that he could take her to bed already. His mind was wandering to what he would do with her in the bedroom when Michelle, standing right in front of Nick, took her bra off, her breasts at eye level with Nick because of the furniture they were standing on. He stared, not sure what to do at first then promptly squeezed his eyes shut.

After what seemed like eternity, since everyone else was staring as well, Jess grabbed whatever shirt she could get to first from off the ground and handed it to Michelle. "Whoa there, I like your enthusiasm sister but we don't get down to anything besides our underwear during this game." Michelle put on what turned out too be Nick's red and black plaid shirt he had been wearing.

"Sorry," she tried to sound apologetic, "I guess I get carried a way when I am drunk."

"Don't be sorry sweetie," Schmidt said, "you should be proud to show those off, especially in private, over at my apartment."

Michelle shot him a look that seemed to scream of her disgust and disinterest for him.

"Well," Jess spoke up to break up the awkward tension in the air, "I think we should just call it a night. We had a good run."

Everyone helped to clean up, throwing the empty bottles and cans away, putting the furniture back in it's place, and making sure everyone got their respective clothes back, except for Michelle left before Nick could get his shirt back. _Great now she has two things of mine._


	3. Chapter 3

Jess was already asleep by the time Nick made it to bed. Schmidt had kept him from going to bed with he so he could complain to Nick about Michelle.

"She isn't interested Nick," he complained. "Is my game off? I used all my classic moves!"

"Look Schmidt maybe you just aren't her type."

"What do you mean Nick? I'm every woman's type! You are no help!" And with that Schmidt stormed out of the apartment.

Nick slipped into bed quietly, making sure not to disturb Jess, though when she was drunk she slept pretty soundly.

Nick fell asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.

He woke up to Jess kissing him and tugging at his undershirt. He kissed her back, surprised that Jess was being this forward. He moved down to her neck and placed sweet kissed across her collarbone.

"Mmm Nick," she moaned. He looked up at her face, too look into her eyes and tell her he loved her, but it wasn't Jess's blue eyes and bangs he saw. The girl in front of him had no bangs and piercing green eyes.

He woke suddenly from his dream. He was hot all over, his back full of sweat. He looked over and saw Jess sleeping soundly next to him. He shook his head. "Oh man," he whispered. He felt terrible. He knew it was just a dream, but he felt like he had cheated on Jess. He knew that would never happen in real life, he was so in love with Jess, and had been for so long. He leaned over and gently placed a kiss on the top of her head, put his arm around her waist and fell asleep to the sound of her soft breathing.

The next day Nick worked a short shift at the bar then came home to catch the Bulls game on T.V. Jess was out with Cece watching some chick movie that Nick was glad to pass on. Winston was out with Bertie doing who knows what, and Coach was out on a date, so he had the T.V. and apartment all to himself.

He hoped that Cece would remember to talk to Jess about Michelle, because Nick just couldn't handle being around that she-devil any more.

At halftime, Nick was grabbing himself a couple more beers when there was a knock at the door. Confused, he went to go answer it, which he immediately regretted.

The last person he wanted to see was standing at the door, with his shirt and box cutter in hand.

"Hey…Michelle," he tried to sound pleasant and nice, "Whatcha doin here?"

"I brought back your things like I said I would." Seeing that his hands were full with the two beers he had gotten for himself, she grabbed one, gave him his stuff, and slipped inside the apartment. "So, you watchin' the game?" She went and plopped herself on the couch and kicked her feet up on the coffee table like she lived there.

Nick couldn't take it any more. He didn't care that Cece was going to talk to Jess; he needed to take matters into his own hands.

"Look, Michelle. You need to leave."

"Aw come on Nick," She patted the spot beside her, clearly not listening to what he said, "Come watch the game, halftimes almost over. " She took a sip from the beer she had stolen from him.

"No," he shook his head at her, "Michelle I am with Jess. Do you understand that?"

She laughed, "So? I know you're together; it's all she could talk about last night. Nick this Nick that. She's like a silly little schoolgirl the way she talks about you. It was so damn annoying." She set her beer down and stood up.

"Don't talk about her like that," Nick shot back at her.

"Oh ho!" She laughed at Nick sticking up for his girlfriend. "Nick, you don't want a girl like Jess, you need a woman. Like me." She stepped closer and closer to him. Nick stepped back the more she stepped forward until he was up against the wall and couldn't go any further.

"Jess is a fantastic woman. She's smart, sexy, and fiercely loyal. And I love her more than anything."

"Do you think I care?" Michelle said in a sensual voice, she was right up in his face now.

Nick dropped the shirt, box cutter, and beer, about to slip away, when he made the mistake of looking up into Michelle's penetrating gaze. She took that moment to move in and planted her lips on his. For a moment Nick reacted as any man would when being kissed by a beautiful woman, but just as he realized what was going on and went to push her away, the door nob rattled and Jess walked in.

Michelle slapped Nick and yelled, "I can't believe you would kiss me like that! You have a girlfriend!" and she stormed out the now open door.

Nick stood there incredulous and slowly turned his head to look at Jess. Her eyes were blue and brimming with tears.

"Jess, I…this is what…nothing hap…" He tried to explain but couldn't get anything out. Jess just kept standing there. He took a step forward, reaching out to her, it was then that the tears started falling and Jess ran out the door, leaving Nick alone.

Nick was the one frozen now. He knew he should run after her. He was telling his body to move, don't let her leave, but he just couldn't do it.

He stood there for who knows how long until someone came in the apartment, closing the open door behind them.

"Nick," Schmidt came up and snapped his fingers in front of his face, "Why are you standing there like a deer in the headlights with your door wide open?"

Nick shook his head; the only thing he could mutter was "Jess" and "Michelle."

"What about Jess and Michelle? Did they kiss and I missed it? Let me grab you a beer and you can tell me all about it." He grabbed a couple beers from the fridge and sat on the couch. Nick finally came to his senses enough to join him, Schmidt handing him one of the beers he had grabbed.

"So what was it like? A quick peck? Tongue? Give me the details."

"No. No, Schmidt Jess and Michelle didn't kiss."

"What? So what happened? I mean you look like you've seen a ghost."

"Well, you know how Michelle wasn't interested in you?"

"Yes I'm still wracking my brain on why."

"Well," Nick took a sip of beer, "She was interested in me."

Schmidt laughed, "Seriously? You're not playing with me right?"

"Yes, I'm being 100% serious right now," he took a bigger sip. "She came over tonight to return my shirt and box cutter I loaned her and she made a move. And Jess just happened to walk in right as Michelle kissed me."

"Wait Jess saw?" Schmidt's smile left his face, "Where is Jess now?"

"I don't know. I couldn't run after her."

"Did you kiss her back?"

"No! Of course not! But Michelle was like a pro and slapped my face and blamed me for it all." He downed the rest of his beer, "Schmidt, I don't know what to do."

"Well obviously you just need to tell her the truth." Schmidt got up and grabbed another beer for Nick, knowing that he would need it to get through the night.

Nick replayed the moment in his mind. The look on Jess's face broke his heart over and over again. He imagined it was the exact look that she had when had caught Spencer cheating on her.

"Oh God," he ran his hands through his hair in frustration, "She probably thinks I'm just like Spencer! She's never going to forgive me!"

Nick continued to vent to Schmidt, who was being incredibly un-douchebag like with the whole situation. Nick kept drinking, and the more he drank the more emotional he got. He was about to call Jess, to beg her to come home when the door opened and she walked in with Cece.

He could tell that Jess had been crying, the area around her eyes were puffy and red.

"I think you two should talk." Cece said. She gave Nick a weak smile.

He was glad that Jess had gone to Cece's, especially since she and him and mutual feelings about Michelle.

"Should we go to our room, Jess?" he asked.

"No, I don't want to go to your room," her voice was hoarse, "I would rather stay out here and talk."

Cece motioned to Schmidt and the two of them left to go hide out in Jess's room.

Nick stood up to face Jess, "Look Jessica,"

"Nick," She cut him off, "Cece talked to me about Michelle. Told me how you feel about her." She took a deep breath. "I know you didn't kiss her."

He breathed a sigh of relief and moved towards her.

"But," she added taking a step backwards, "I still can't get the picture of her mouth on yours out of my head."

"Jessica, I love you," Nick got out.

"I know you do Nick, and I love you too," he grinned at hearing those words, but his smile fell when she added, "But this made me realize that I need to take some time for myself for a while. We've never not lived together this whole relationship."

"Are you saying you want some space?" Nick could feel his heart sink into his stomach, his eyes stinging from the tears that were forming. "Are," his voice cracked, "are you breaking up with me?"

"I just think we need some time apart," she looked down at her feet not wanting to look Nick in the eye, "to really figure out what _this_ is." She looked back up at him.

"Is that what you really want?" He searched her face for any hint that she would say no.

"Yes," this time she looked him in the eye. He could see underneath her pain and heartache that she was determined, "Cece said I can stay with her for a while, the other models are out on some yacht for a while…" She trailed off.

"Okay, fine then. If that's what you want, then I'll give you some space," he looked at her for a moment more, walked past her going into his room, not saying goodbye.

He sat on his bed and wished that this all were just one long nightmare. He would wake up, give Jess a good morning kiss and they would go about their day as normal.

He knew this was his reality right now. He knew that his life was crashing all around him and his heart was breaking even worse than anytime before in his life. Things had been going so well with Jess. He had even thought he would marry her someday, but now he didn't know if that would ever happen.

He sat in bed listening to Cece help Jess pack some things while Schmidt took them out to Cece's car. Every minute that passed, Nick could feel the gravity of the situation. He shot out of bed and nearly ripped his door off the hinges as he opened the door. Jess was just coming out of her room, her small suitcase trailing behind her.

"Jessica wait," he grabbed her arm and pulled her close. He kissed her, desperately and reminiscent of their first kiss, except tears flowed freely from his eyes, so that he could taste them in the kiss. He was sure that Jess was also crying even as she kissed him back. Small sobs escaping from her lips. He didn't want the moment to end, but she slowed the kiss down. He kissed her softly, then they stood there, forehead's touching as they caught their breath.

"Jessica, please don't go." He continued to look at the floor, "I love you so much, I can't imagine my life without you." He gave her another soft kiss, and then whispered softly so that she almost couldn't hear him, "marry me."

She looked up into his face, "Nick," took a step back and out of his grasp, "I can't."

She walked away from him and out the door, never looking back.


	4. Chapter 4

Nick stared at the door that his love had just walked out of. He couldn't believe that she actually left. He was even more in disbelief that he had asked her to marry him. He hadn't meant to but it just slipped out. He had a habit of doing things like that. As soon as he heard the words come out of his mouth, he had actually hoped she would say yes, they would make up and everything would be okay.

But everything was not okay.

He took one last look at the door and walked into his room, making sure to not look or think about the empty room across the hall. He tried not to think of the empty spot where Jess had slept for the months that they had been together but he couldn't keep those thoughts away. He sat on the floor, unable and unwilling to sleep in their bed. It felt unwelcoming and cold; he knew it would be covered in Jess's scent.

He leaned against his dresser and let the tears flow freely, which then turned into full on sobs. He was emotionally exhausted but he just couldn't sleep.

Throughout the night he talked himself through the situation. He loved Jess enough to give her the space and time she needed. He would wait an eternity if it meant he could have her back, he wanted no one else but her. No one else compared.

The sun peeped through the window, and he knew he needed to get up. Jess wouldn't want him moping around his room all day. He got up off the floor, stretched his arms out, his body sore from being on the floor all night, and went into the bathroom to take a shower.

As he showered, he thought about his shift at the bar tonight. He hoped Cece would be there, so he could ask her how Jess was. He wanted to call her himself, but figured it wouldn't help his situation. He didn't want to make the same mistakes he did when Caroline broke up with him. He called her all the time when he was drunk and it pushed her away.

He finished showering and went to catch some sports center on T.V. to keep him preoccupied till his shift.

Nick's shift went by rather slowly, which didn't help his current state of mind. Cece had called in to say that she wasn't coming in. She didn't have to tell Nick why, he already knew. He was glad she didn't mention it though. It would have been hard on him to be even more reminded of the pain he caused Jess.

Since Cece didn't come in, his boss Shane stuck around. Shane had played things cool ever since Nick broke things off with her, but he could tell she still harbored some sort of resentment towards him. Thank goodness she was professional about it and didn't let it get in the way of their professional relationship, because things could have been very bad for him at the bar.

Nick locked the door behind the last customer and went to finish his closing duties when Shane came out from the back.

"You look blue, what's going on?" She asked.

Nick, confused by her concern, decided to just go with it. As much as he hated to talk about his feelings, especially with an ex, he just needed to get things out.

Shane grabbed them both beers and she sat up on the bar, and listened to Nick vent. He told her about Michelle and how uncomfortable she had made him, how she came on to him, despite knowing that he and Jess were together. He told her about last night, how she kissed him right as Jess walked in the door and turned it around to make it seem like he had kissed her. As he talked about Jess walking out on him (he left out the kiss and accidental proposal), he couldn't help but let a few tears slip out.

"Shane, I know you probably don't like hearing this, but I don't want to lose her. When she came in my life, it was like the sun started shining and I could see more clearly."

"Don't worry about it Nick. I'm mostly over it all." She chuckled to herself, "Besides I'm in a relationship myself now." She smiled.

"That's great! That's really good to hear," he gave her a genuine smile.

"Look, Nick. You love her right?"

"Of course,"

"I don't know why I asked that, I knew that already, when we were dating. I saw the way you looked at her," she said wistfully. "I wish you luck. It's not a situation I would want to be in."

They sat for a moment, she kicked her legs like a schoolgirl, Nick leaned over the bar playing with his empty beer bottle.

"Thanks for that. Also I'm sorry, for you know."

"Don't sweat it." She smiled weakly and downed the last few drops of her beer, "Well I'm out. See ya later Nick." She hopped off the bar counter and walked out the door.

Nick looked down at the empty bottle in his hands. It would be so easy to just continue to drink, drown his self in his sorrows like he normally did. But he didn't want to do that this time. He through the bottle away and grabbed his coat and keys.

As he was walking into the apartment, his phone rang. He looked down and saw it was Jess. He couldn't answer fast enough.

"Jess!" He nearly shouted for joy.

"Hi Nicholas," he could hear the strain in her voice, "How are you?"

"I'm okay, I'm more concerned about how you are doing." He went and sat on the couch.

"I'm alright. I just called to tell you I am going to Portland for a little while."

"Okay," he swallowed the lump in his throat, "Um, for how long?"

"I don't know," she sounded distant and disconnected, "I just need to clear my head. Being this close to you and around everyone is hard. And it's not fair to have to make everyone to tip toe around us."

He looked down the hallway to where their rooms were. "Are you moving out?"

She didn't respond at first, he thought he may have lost the call.

"Jess? You there?"

"Yeah, I'm here. I don't know the answer to that either. I think I'm keeping it, for now."

"Oh, okay. When do you leave?" He took a deep breath, "Can I see you before?"

"I leave tonight. I'm already at the airport; my flight is about to board actually."

His heart fell, "Alright. Fly safe Jess." _I love you_, he had wanted to say.

"Bye Nick."

Nick sat there, letting it all sink in. He was tempted to throw his phone, frustrated with this whole situation, but he stopped himself. He needed that phone in case Jess called him again. He went to his room instead. He looked at the bed and sighed. He grabbed his computer and sat on his side of the bed out of force of habit. He pulled up Facebook to try to distract himself. _Bad Idea, _he thought, as his profile pic was of him and Jess. He closed the computer and decided to just try to go to sleep. He was exhausted from getting no sleep the night before and needed to get some sleep.

The next morning, Nick found that his arm was around someone, dark hair in his face.

"Jess?" he propped himself up, too look at the sleeping woman beside him. He was so hopeful that jess had decided to come back, but his heart fell when he saw who it was.

"What are you doing?" He yelled and jumped out of the bed. Michelle groggily moved onto her back. He was still in his clothes from the night before. So thank goodness it seemed that nothing happened.

"Hey there Nicky," she grinned.

"Don't call me that. You, how did you get in here? I want you out!" He backed against the wall, slowly moving towards his bedroom door.

"Aw come on, come back to bed," she patted his side of the bed. He felt violated. No matter that Jess was gone and they were on a break or whatever it was, it was still Jess's side of their bed.

"No. And you haven't answered my question."

"I came knocking late last night. I was knocking and knocking and your other roommate, he said his name was Winston? He let me in. I told him I'd left a sweater here when playing that drinking game the other night. Now come here. I hear you're single again."

He made a pained expression at the reminder of Jess being gone, but then continued to glare at her. "My relationship status is no matter. I still love Jess, and I still don't like you!"

"Aw come on, don't be like that," she pouted.

"I don't like hitting girls, but if you don't leave, I wont be afraid to use brute force to get you to leave."

"Oh, tough guy huh?"

He rolled his eyes. "Seriously," he sighed sick of dealing with her, with all of this, "please just leave. Haven't you done enough already?"

She studied the look on his face, of pure defeat and abandon. "Okay." She got up out of the bed, pulling on her pants that were on the floor.

"Okay? Just like that? Huh." He was relieved, but surprised at how easy it was, after all her pushing and prodding to get him to cave to her desires.

"Yeah, it's no fun any more. You're just pathetic, the way you claim to really love her, and how sad you look." She walked out the door, but before she left, turned around and said, "I'm sorry Nick."

"Yeah, sure. Thanks for, well, ruining my life." He watched her leave. He was glad at least that he didn't have to worry about her anymore, but angry he met her in the first place.

He looked around his room; his eyes fell on the shirt that Michelle had returned the other night. He didn't want to see that shirt ever again. He picked it up, grabbed a trashcan, and a lighter, and then went up to the roof. He considered burning his sheets, blankets, and shit, to get rid of the smell of Jess and Michelle, but decided that washing those was a better solution, since the cost of new stuff added up pretty quickly.

As the shirt burned, Nick stared into the fire, thinking of nothing in particular. Winston came up at some time and stood beside him.

"Look Nick, I'm sorry for letting that girl in."

"It's fine." Nick replied not wanting to talk about it.

"I've just been out with Bertie a lot so I've missed some things, so I didn't know."

"I said it's fine Winston."

"I'm sorry about Jess," Winston put his hand on Nick's shoulder, then left Nick alone, understanding that Nick just wanted to be left alone.

Nick stayed out on the roof until the last ember died out, then he went inside and did some laundry.


	5. Chapter 5

Jess's flight touched down in her hometown of Portland, Oregon. She really didn't like leaving L.A., especially with how things were going at her school, but she just needed to get out of there for a while. Thank goodness Principal Foster agreed to let her take this last minute "vacation" as a thank you for all her hard work in getting the school board to continue construction. In reality, she knew it was because he heard she was gunning for his job, and he wanted to suck up to her so she wouldn't.

She really didn't like leaving Nick like that. It killed her to be away from him. She really loved him, and knew with her whole heart and soul that he didn't kiss Michelle willingly.

But it didn't change the fact that it happened.

It brought up some feelings she thought she was completely over, the feelings and emotions she had when she walked in on Spencer cheating on her. She didn't have any feelings for Spencer anymore, he was a terrible boyfriend, but the fact that someone she trusted and loved could do that to her, made her realize that maybe Nick could end up being just another Spencer.

And when Nick had asked her to marry him? That had really scared her. Did she really want to marry him? He was terrible with money. He worked as a bartender, so she would most likely end up supporting him for the rest of their lives. He was also stubborn as hell, and refused to act like an adult. Was that what she wanted in a husband? Jess needed to figure those things out without Nick being around every corner.

The pilot announced that they could disembark, so Jess texted her sister Abby. Abby had moved back with their mom when her relationship with Schmidt fizzled out faster than a firecracker.

_Just landed. Getting off the plane._ She texted, put her phone in her purse, and waited till she could stand up and get her carry on bag from overhead. She stood up and someone's luggage hit her on her head.

"Ow," she grabbed her head where she got hit.

"Oh my, I'm so sorry!" A man's voice said.

"It's fine, I've got a hard head," she looked up to see a familiar face.

"Dr. Sam?" She said in disbelief.

"Jess?"

"What are you doing here?" They both asked in unison.

"I'm visiting my mom."

"I got transferred here for a month to help with the new children's hospital."

They both laughed. Jess hadn't laughed in what felt like eternity.

"Here, let me help you out. Which one's yours?"

She pointed out her bag and quickly got out of the way so he couldn't hit her on the head again.

"Thanks," she said as he handed it to her.

As they walked of the plane, they caught up on what was new in their lives.

"So are you still living with those roommates of yours?"

"Well, um, Schmidt moved out. Across the hall."

"Wow, that's so far away," he joked.

"Ha, yeah. He's over all the time, so it's like he never moved." She smiled, already missing the boys, but then she realized that Nick was included in "the boys" and the smile vanished.

"What about Nick?" Jess caught her breath, she knew that was going to come up, but was hoping to avoid it. Nick was the reason Sam and her and broken up, and they hadn't talked or seen each other since.

"Yeah he still lives there," she hoped he would leave it at that and not ask anymore questions.

Her hope was deflated when he asked, "So…did you guys ever end up dating?" A pained expression crossed her face, which he noticed immediately, "Sorry. Obviously I've touched on a sore subject."

"No, It's, um, it's fine," she tried to hold back tears. "We are, um, taking a bre…well we broke up. Another reason why I'm in Portland…"

"Oh Jess," Sam stopped walking and looked at her, "I'm really sorry."

"Thanks," she was amazed that he didn't try to rub it in her face. After how things had ended between them, she wouldn't have been surprised if he had been cold about what she just told him. She started crying, her emotions catching up with her. Sam set his bag down and pulled Jess into a hug.

"Jess, It's okay," He stroked her hair, making Jess cry even louder, "It's all going to be okay." He let her cry until she stopped sobbing. She pulled away, wiping the tears off her face with her sweater sleeve.

"I'm sorry Sam," she sniffled. "I'm just having a really hard time with all this."

"No need to apologize," he reached out and put his hand on her head, patted it, then as he pulled his hand away he let a few strands of her hair slide across his fingers.

He picked up his suitcase and they continued their walk to baggage claim. Jess saw her sister Abby waiting with a dorky sign that read "Jessica Day." There was an older man with a sign waiting to pick up Dr. Sam as well.

"Oh fancy man," Jess giggled.

"Yeah," he chuckled, "the hospital insisted on sending someone to pick me up, but it looks like you've got someone as well." He motioned towards Abby.

"I guess. It's just my sister, Abby, she's kind of crazy." She stopped before going to her sister and turned towards Sam. "Thanks again Sam, I mean it."

"It's no problem Jess. If you need to talk, give me a call okay? I'm here for a while. Maybe you can show me around town?" He smiled and Jess blushed a little.

"Okay, that sounds good. Bye Sam."

She walked up to her sister.

"Let's go Abby, I'm really tired."

"Okay but who was that tall stallion? Mother may I!" Abby looked over her shoulder to get another look at Dr. Sam.

"No Abby, you can not have him." Jess pointed her finger in Abby's face, "That's Dr. Sam, he's my ex and I don't want you messing with him like you messed with Schmidt. And me and Sam might finally be able to be friend's again."

"Ouch, touchy! Fine, I wouldn't want your sloppy seconds anyways," she turned and winked at Jess.

"Ugh, Abby, you are just the worst!"

Jess followed Abby to the car, and put her stuff in the backseat. Abby was kind enough to not prod her about what happened with Nick or more about Sam, so as they drove, she fell asleep.

Abby woke her up when they drove into the garage of Jess's childhood home.

"We're here sleeping beauty," Abby cooed.

Jess opened her eyes. It felt good to finally get some shut eye. She hadn't slept since _that_ night.

Her mom opened the door and ran to the passenger side, "Oh Jujube!" She opened the door and hugged Jess tightly, "It's so good to see you!"

"You too Momscicle," she tried not to cry. It really was good to see her mom. She may be into her thirties, but when she was upset, there was nothing like having her mom around to wipe her tears and tell her everything was going to be okay.

She helped grab Jess's bag from the back; Abby had already disappeared in the house. Her mom asked her questions about Cece and school, purposefully avoiding the hard questions about Nick and how Jess was feeling about it all, she knew it would come up eventually, but her mom was kind enough to not pry. Jess would talk when she was ready.

Jess excused herself so that she could make her way to her old room to sleep. Her mom had left it the way she had it before moving out for college. She looked around at the pink wallpaper, covered in posters for old movies and pictures of movie stars she used to gush over. She walked across her shaggy white carpet and set her bag on the floor next to her bed. She had a day bed with a pink quilt and covered in stuffed animals she had collected over the years. She carefully moved all of them to the top of her dresser, except her favorite, an old brown teddy bear she'd had since she was a baby that she called Bear. She changed into one of the pajama sets that she had brought with her, and got under the covers, holding Bear close to her chest.

As she cuddled her old friend, she couldn't help but let the tears fall. She hated sleeping alone, she missed Nick so much. She needed him more than anything and it scared her to need someone that much. She tried to fall asleep but the tears kept flowing. Her chest swelled with pain from thinking about Nick. She could almost feel him lying behind her, his arm around her waist, softly snoring in her ear. She couldn't handle this feeling so she hugged Bear and left to see if her mom was still up.

She found her mom sitting on a bar stool on the counter, drinking a glass of pink wine. Joan turned around when she heard the soft footsteps of Jess's feet against the cool tile floor.

"Hey Jujube, I figured you'd come looking for me soon," she got up and took Jess into her arms, Jess sobbed into her mom's shoulder. It felt so good to be in her mom's arms, she felt like she was 16 again, coming home after a terrible date and crying to her mom. After a while Jess stepped back and turned around to sit on one of the barstools, still holding Bear. Her mom went around and grabbed a glass for Jess, pouring a drink for Jess and refilling her own glass, she said, "So talk to me baby, I'm here for you."

Jess took a deep breath, "Where to start." She took a sip of the pink drink she was so fond of. "Well, as you already know, I broke things off with Nick."

Her mother nodded at that, then urged her to go on.

"I don't know if it was the right thing to do. I miss him. I miss us, and everything we had.

"What does your head say?" Her mom would always ask first.

"It says that I'm being rational, that I was right to take a break from him."

"And what about your heart?" Her mom put her hand on Jess's.

"I don't know, that's where I'm confused. I love him more than anyone I've loved before. I really wanted to spend the rest of my life with him, but then," she took another sip of pink wine, "I feel like even Nick could turn into a Spencer."

"Well honey, I can tell you, Nick is no Spencer. I've seen the way that boy looks at you. But I can understand why you are feeling this way, baby. You're welcome to stay here as long as you like to get everything figured out." She put her arm around Jess and squeezed her tight. "I see you found your old buddy Bear," she tugged on one of his ears. "You know, when you were little, you would cry and cry, and nothing we did could get you to stop. Your father, at his wit's end, went out and bought that teddy bear and as soon as he gave it to you, you stopped crying."

Jess had heard the story a million times throughout her life, but she just nodded and said, "He's always been my favorite."

They continued to talk and joke about old times, like they always did. Abby finally came out and asked if they could keep it down. Joan and Jess giggled and apologized. Abby rolled her eyes and stormed out of the room, causing them to laugh even louder. Jess finished her drink off and stood up from the counter.

"Well I guess I am going to head to bed after all. Thank you, Momscicle, I love you."

"I love you too Jujube."

Jess went back to her room. This time the alcohol helped her fall asleep, and she was able to finally get her much needed rest.


	6. Chapter 6

Nick lost count how long it had been since Jess left. He did the same thing every day. Wake up go to work, come home, sleep. He threw in getting ready for the day and eating food somewhere in between but it was nothing to write home about.

Work was just a blur to him. He knew he talked to Cece, but about what? He didn't know. He avoided asking her about Jess. He wanted to ask, Jess was always there at the back of his mind. He was worried that she was alright, that she would come home soon. But he never asked, afraid to hear the answer. He was worried Jess would find some hipster Oregonian and decide to stay in Portland forever and when asked about Nick she would say, "Nick Miller who?"

He couldn't let himself dwell too long on those negative thoughts or he would start on the downward spiral of staying home all day, getting drunk, and calling Jess to beg her to come home. When he did that with Caroline, it had made everything worse, and turned her away from him even more. He was glad now that things didn't work out with Caroline. She was crazy and they would never have worked in the long run. But with Jess, she was his soul mate and he didn't want to chase her away but coming off as clingy and immature. No, he wasn't going to do that. He'd allow himself a beer occasionally but nothing that he couldn't handle.

He walked out of his room to leave for his shift. He had finally let himself get back on Facebook, quickly changing his profile picture from him and Jess to one of just himself. He hadn't let himself scroll through his feed, because he wasn't ready to run into anything that may pop up from Jess. That step would have to come later. He quickly glanced over at the empty room across the hall. He knew Jess still had the majority of her things in there, but was grateful for the closed door. He sighed and continued out the front door to leave for work.

Jess spent the week keeping busy. She would read around the house, answer emails from the substitute teacher in charge of her classes, and go out shopping with her mom and Abby. Other than that first night talking to her mom, she had kept pretty quiet about Nick. It hurt to think about him. She still cried at night, missing him more than anything when he wasn't there to keep her warm and safe. She'd fall asleep with a wet face and wake up with red puffy eyes. Thankfully neither her mom nor Abby noticed, or they didn't say anything to bring attention to it.

They were out getting lunch one day, after an eventful morning of vintage shopping. They had found a little café near the local hospital that served traditional French pastries and fancy teas and coffee. They were sitting at a little table outside as the day was rather warm; a group of doctors walked by on their way into the store.

Abby elbowed Jess, who was looking preoccupied with her croissant sandwich. "Hey sis, isn't that your doctor friend?"

"What doctor friend?" She looked up and around. She saw inside the café a familiar dark haired man.

"Oh, that doctor friend." Jess engrossed herself in her sandwich again, hoping Abby would let it go.

But her mom didn't. "Doctor friend? Which one is he?" She looked inside, trying to figure out which one her daughter might know.

"He's tall dark and handsome in the back," Abby answered. Jessica grimaced. Sam was great but she really didn't want to see him again. She was so embarrassed about crying in front of him at the airport. He had texted her a number of times this past week but she hadn't answered him.

"Oh he is a dream boat!" Jess could see her mom blush. Sam was indeed good looking, but she hated her mom and sister drooling all over him.

"That dream boat's name is _Sam_."

Abby leaned over and loudly whispered to her mom, "They used to have sex!"

"Abby!" Jess slapped her sister in the arm. Sam was walking out right at that moment.

"Hey Jess!" Same waved to her.

_Please don't come over here, please don't come over here. _Jess begged him with her thoughts, but it was useless, he came over.

"I remember seeing you from the airport," He pointed to Jess's sister.

"I'm Abby," she smiled pulling out all her charm.

"And who is this, your other sister?" He motioned to Joan making her giggle.

"Oh no, I am Jess's mother, Joan," She held out her hand, which Sam promptly shook.

"Pleased to meet you two," he looked at Jess and smiled, he looked pleased to see her. "Hey Jess, I wanted to ask you, some of the other doctors were going out for drinks tonight and I hoped you'd join me," he asked but quickly added, "as friend! I just don't really know anyone else in this town and it would be nice to catch up a bit more."

Jess felt put on the spot. She looked from her mom to Abby and could see them both smiling and nodding their heads at Jess, encouraging her to go. If it was a date, she would have said no, it was way too soon to be going out on a date, and it wouldn't help in figuring things out with Nick. But since it would just be a friend thing, it couldn't hurt right?

"Sure Sam," She gave him a small smile. "That sounds like fun."

"Great!" He beamed. "I'll text you the details!"

He said his goodbyes, Joan and Abby gushing over him a little more, then he left.

"Jess!" Her mother squealed, obviously smitten by Sam. "He's a lot more handsome than you let on!" Jess could see her mom blushing.

All Jess could do was nod. She was a little too preoccupied thinking about what Nick would think about her going out with Sam, even if it was just as friends. Jess hadn't just lost her boyfriend when she left him, but she'd also lost her best friend.

Her mother saw the sad look in her eyes and put her arm around her, rubbing her shoulders. "I'm sorry Jujube. You shouldn't have said yes if you aren't ready."

"No mom," Jess choked back her tears, "I really do want to go. It will be good to go out."

"Hey I want to go out too! Get me my _own_ doctor!" Abby stated.

Jess laughed, maybe bringing Abby would be good, and maybe she could help keep Jess from backsliding. "I guess I could text Sam and see if that's okay."

Abby grinned, "This is going to be so fun!"

Later that night, Jess and Abby walked into the bar that Sam had given them directions to. It wasn't too far from the hospital, or the café that they had eaten at for lunch. Jess hadn't brought any party dresses with her, so she had to borrow one from Abby. It was a slim blue dress that she felt like she was going to pop out of. Abby was wearing a red number, equally as slim and tight. She thought of what Schmidt would say if he saw her in this dress. _Who let the dirty slut out of the slut house?_ She laughed and her sister gave her a weird look.

"It's nothing. I'm just thinking of what Schmidt would say if he saw me in this dress."

"Oh," was all her sister could say. Jess knew Abby wasn't quiet over her and Schmidt's break up, so in a way, she felt Abby needed this night out more than her.

Jess looked around for Sam and saw him in a booth with a few other people, most likely the doctors he mentioned. It looked like someone was telling a story, and they were all listening intently, so he didn't see her walk in. As Jess and Abby walked towards the table, Sam saw them, smiled and scooted over so they could join them in the booth. After they sat down, one of the bartenders came over and took their order; both Abby and Jess got pink wine.

"Guys this is Jess and her sister, Abby," Sam said introducing them, "Jess is my good friend from Los Angeles." That last part made her smile.

Everyone around the table introduced themselves; there were a few girls, but mostly guys. Jess could tell that Abby set her eyes on the man on the end across from her, Joseph. The bartender brought Jess and Abby's drinks.

As they drank, ordering more drinks when they would finish, they listened to their stories about life in the hospital. Sam put his arm behind Jess on the top of the both seat, leaned over and whispered into her ear, "I'm sorry. This is probably really boring for you."

Jess could feel Sam's hot breath on her neck, bringing back memories of their time together. It also didn't help that Jess was feeling pretty twirly from her multiple glasses of pink wine. "It's fine. I'm enjoying hearing your war stories," she whispered back, giving him a small smile.

Sam left his arm behind Jess, and as the night went on, Jess moved a little closer to him. Every now and then, Nick would come up in her mind but she would push those thoughts away. She was having a good time and nothing was going to ruin that. Abby had moved over to sit by Joseph. She had her legs over his and her arm around his neck.

When Joseph got up to use the restroom, Abby rushed over to talk to Jess. "Hey Jess, I'm going to take Joe home. Sam you think you can take care of Jess for me?"

"Sure thing," he grinned, obviously pleased with the way things were going tonight.

"Thanks Sam," she then whispered to Jess, "Don't have too much fun tonight." She gave Jess a wink and left out the door with Joseph, who had come back from the bathroom.

Jess and Sam sat there in silence for a moment. Jess's mind felt fuzzy; she didn't know what she wanted to happen tonight. On one hand, she was single, feeling twirly, and with Sam who was very attractive. On the other hand, she hadn't broken up with Nick but a week before, and she still loved and missed Nick very much. She turned to ask Sam if he could take her home, but his face was real close to hers, making it even harder to think.

"Sam, I…" She managed to get out before he pressed his lips against hers. He kissed her with intense longing; Jess returned the kiss, the feeling of familiarity drawing her in.

When they parted, their breath heavy, Sam asked, "You were about to say something?" he had a small smile his lips.

"Could you take me home?" She slowly asked, still recovering from Sam's kiss.

"Yeah," his smile faded a little. "I need to get the keys from my hotel room though. It's not far from here. I didn't expect to need to drive tonight."

They left the bar and walked to his hotel. She asked him more about his work at the hospital and how long he was going to be there, hoping to keep the subject away from them, as well as keep her from thinking of Nick.

"They were going to keep me here a month, but it might actually be only another week or so." He looked down at Jess, "Have you figured out how long you're going to stay?"

Jess didn't answer immediately; she didn't know the answer herself. "I don't know. I miss my kids at school. I miss Cece too. It won't be for much longer, I know that." _I can't run away forever, _she thought to herself.

They got the hotel and he led her up to his room. Jess laughed at the stories Sam was telling her, but inside her heart was racing. He opened the door to his room and invited her in.

"My keys are just over on the night stand," he moved to go get them.

"I'm going to use the bathroom," she squeaked out. Closing the door behind her, she looked at herself in the mirror; her eyes were glassy from the amount of alcohol she had. _Jessica, _she started on her pep talk, _is this really how you should be spending your time here? You need to figure things out about Nick, not kissing your ex-boyfriend! _She couldn't help but let the tears fall. She didn't know how long she was in the bathroom crying, but it must have been a long time as Sam knocked on the door.

"Jess?" his voice full of concern. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," she said weakly, her hoarse voice giving her away.

Sam opened the door that Jess had forgotten to lock. She was sitting on the toilet seat her head in her hands. He knelt beside her. He lifted up her head and brushed her hair away from her face.

"Jess I'm so sorry," He wiped at her tears with a bit of toilet paper he grabbed from beside the toilet. "I shouldn't have kissed you. It was the wrong thing to do." He held her face in his hands, "You just don't know how long I've been dreamt of doing that. Every day, I've regretted leaving you at that Indian marriage thing."

"Sam…I," she took a deep breath, breathing in the sweet scent she remembered from when they were together. "I liked you a lot, I still find you very attractive…" She couldn't keep her thoughts collected. _What are you doing Jess?_ She asked herself. She looked up into his eyes and saw how sincere he was. She got lost in the moment and moved in to kiss him.

Sam was shocked at first, not sure why Jess was kissing him, when she seemed to be regretting the kiss from before. He kissed her back with earnest, Jess wrapped her arms around his neck and he lifted her up from off the toilet and carried her towards the bed, kissing her along the way.

Nick got home from his shift at the bar. He decided to try and brave Facebook again, he was feeling pretty good about today for some reason. He grabbed a beer from the fridge and made his way to his room. He hopped on his bed, where his laptop was already waiting. He hummed a little tune to himself as he waited for the laptop to boot up, taking small sips from his beer.

When the computer was ready he opened up his browser and typed in Facebook. The moment the page loaded his heart dropped. Jess's sister, Abby, had tagged Jess in a photo from earlier that night.

_Fun night at the bar!_ She had written as a caption. Nick could see on the side of the picture that someone had their arm around Jess. He looked a little closer; he could see the side of their face.

"This is my nightmare!" he yelled, and threw his bottle of beer across the room, the glass shattering all over, the beer seeping down the wall it came in contact with. He sat there on his bed and put his head in his hands. _What is Jess doing with him?_ He looked up, running his hands down the side of his face, and took a deep breath.

"I have to get her back!"


	7. Chapter 7

Nick woke Coach up, knowing full well how mad he would be at him, but this was an emergency; he needed to get to Portland, and fast.

"Dude!" Coach said grumpily, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, "What's going on? You know I need my rest when I got work early!"

"I know man, but I need help. I gotta get to Jess." Nick was getting agitated. Every minute wasted waiting to leave was another minute Sam could be with Jess. He didn't want to think about what they might be doing.

"Can't this wait until tomorrow?" Coach put his blanket over his head, hoping Nick would leave him alone. "Or at least bother Winston instead."

"No, this can't wait, and Winston's off with Bertie as usual," Nick pulled the blanket off of Coach's head. "Look she's out with Sam. He was before you got here, but she's an ex of Jess." He sighed in defeat. "I need a ride to the airport, I'm going after her. I've gotta get her back."

The look on Coach's face softened. He could see the desperation in Nick's eyes. "Fine. I'll take you." Nick nearly hugged Coach.

While Coach put some clothes on, Nick called Cece to get Jess's mom's address. Luckily she wasn't asleep yet, he would have felt a little bad for waking her up, which was more than he had cared about waking Coach up. She said she would text him the address so it was on his phone and sure enough, not long after the hung up, he received a text with the Portland address.

Coach was finally ready, so he and Nick made their way to the airport.

Coach dropped Nick off right up front. He didn't have any luggage, he didn't think he would need any and it was just a big haste when he was in such a hurry. He waved goodbye and muttered a thanks to Coach, who wished him luck. Nick ran up to the ticket counter. He hadn't bought a ticket yet and hoped there would be one leaving soon.

"I need your next flight to Portland. Money isn't any matter; I'll pay for whatever you got." His heart pounded and he breathed quickly. His adrenaline was running high.

The agent checked her computer. "I've got one that leaves at 7 am." She said in her chirpy voice, but noticing the disappointment in his eyes she added, "There _is_ another one leaving in an hour, it's sold out but I could put you on standby, some people haven't checked in yet, so there's a chance you could make it." She gave him a big smile.

"Yes, I'll take that." _Anything that gave him a chance to get to Portland quicker, _he thought.

"Okay great!" The ticket agent beamed; glad she could help this sorry looking fellow.

She quoted him the price, which he begrudgingly gave her in cash. He knew he had said he would pay anything, but it still hurt to hand over so much of his hard earned money. She handed him his boarding pass and off he went.

He was able to get through security pretty quickly, having no luggage, and his frequent trips to Chicago to visit his mom, made him sort of a pro. He put his shoes back on quickly and bolted through the airport to get to the correct terminal. He was thankful it wasn't too busy, or he would have run into a lot of people as he ran. As he entered the terminal, he spotted the airline desk. He rushed over and slammed his hands on the desk, causing the agent to jump and give a little shriek.

"I was told I was going to be put on standby for the next flight to Portland?" he got out between heavy breaths.

"Oh well, let me check," she said, still recovering from his sudden appearance. "Can I get your name Mr…?"

"Nick, Nick Miller."

"Ah yes, I see you right here. Luckily, you are the only one on standby, and things are looking good to get you on this flight. Just wait right here at the gate, and after we have boarded everyone, if there is room, we will let you on." She motioned over to the gate, where Nick could see a small crowd of people waiting.

He walked over and stood by the window. He had too much adrenaline in him to sit down. He took out his phone and texted Coach that he was on standby for the next flight, and thanked him for driving him; he hoped the text wouldn't wake him up. He stared out the window. A plane, he assumed the one flying to Portland, was approaching the gate. He busied himself watching as the ground crew started taking off the luggage and putting them on different cars to be taken to the next plane, or to baggage claim. He watched as people started coming off the plane. Most of them had tired looks in their eyes, some faces were so blank that Nick couldn't read them, and there was even someone who had a look that resembled Nick's own turtle face.

The plane was finally cleared of all its passengers, so they announced the boarding of the flight to Portland. Nick's stomach gave a little somersault. He really hoped he would get on this flight. He didn't think he could wait until morning, he was afraid it would be too late by then. He paced a little, waiting as they called each boarding group. Time moved as slow as molasses, until they gave their final boarding call.

Nick looked around; he couldn't see anyone running to make the flight. He breathed a sigh of relief when the agent at the gate called for standby. He walked over, gave her his boarding pass, and thanked her, whole-heartedly. She gave him a funny smile, and waved him on through.

As he walked through the loading bridge and onto the plane, his heart started beating fast. He couldn't believe he was actually going after Jess. He had been so careful since she was gone to only talk to her when she contacted him. He didn't want to push her away any further. But maybe he had been wrong in doing so. Maybe if he had fought harder, she wouldn't be with Sam right now.

He took a seat over the wing next to a petite blonde woman, who sat by the window. It seemed as if she was already sleeping, her head resting on the wall of the plane with her eyes closed, so Nick was careful to be quiet as he sat down and put his seatbelt on. He closed his eyes as well, but he knew he wouldn't be able to sleep.

He let his mind wander to the first time he met Jess. He had been sitting on the couch, waiting to interview a potential new roommate, when she walked in. He knew it was going to be a girl, Schmidt had told Coach and him to be on especially good behavior. Schmidt was hoping that by having a girl roommate, he would have the opportunity to have even more sex than he was already having. He didn't expect to be so taken by Jess. He remembered her red dress and how damn adorable she looked in it, her dark hair cascading over her shoulders. He remembered thinking she was a little crazy when she told them about breaking up with her boyfriend, when all he asked about was if she had any pets. Despite thinking she was crazy, he was absolutely smitten with her.

He had hoped it would have gone away after time. Since they were living together they got to know each other in the way only couples that lived together got to know each other. But the feelings didn't go away, and they only grew closer as friends. The closer they got the harder things were for him. He wanted to be with her so badly, but he didn't want to ruin the amazing friendship they grew to have.

He remembered being with her at his buddies wedding. They were supposed to pretend to be a couple, and Jess was totally in to it. Her hands were all over him, and she looked absolutely stunning; it took everything in him to not kiss her right then and there. He was actually glad that Caroline was there to distract him, because it helped keep the way he felt about Jess locked away inside.

He thought back to their first kiss. He had really wanted to kiss her during that game of True American. She was giving him a chance. But he knew that it wouldn't mean anything to her, if he kissed her during the game. She would blow it off and continue to date Dr. Sam like nothing happened. And the way she looked in her pink robe, it drove him crazy and he knew he needed to take a chance right then and there. Since then, they had shared a thousand more kisses. Though all amazing, none of them were seared into his brain like that fateful kiss.

His heart ached, thinking back through his history with Jess. He wanted, no he needed her back.

The captain announced that they were landing soon. He opened his eyes and looked around. The lights were dim, allowing for the passengers to sleep if they wanted. His neighbor had left the window open, allowing Nick to see the glimmering lights outside against the black of night. He always loved flying at night, nothing, except for Jess, was more beautiful than seeing all those lights of Earth from the atmosphere.

He watched out the window during the landing process. His stomach dropping farther than he thought was possible. The blonde girl next to him stirred and opened her eyes groggily. She eyed him then turned away to look out the window herself. They gave final announcements to make sure to clean up the area around your seat, and make sure you have all of your belongings before you leave the plane. Nick was again thankful he didn't have any luggage on him; as soon as they opened the door, he was the first one off the plane.

He walked quickly out of the terminal and towards the taxi area. He flagged the first one he saw and gave them the address that Cece had texted him. He knew it was going to cost him a lot more than he wanted, but he didn't care when he was this close to the love of his life.

The taxi driver tried to make small talk, but quickly stopped when Nick was only giving him half answers. He ended up concentrating on driving instead and turned up the smooth jazz that was playing on the radio. They drove through a winding road of trees and houses so big that Nick felt he could be lost in them for days. Finally the driver turned right onto a driveway of a beautiful white house, that seemed to glow in the moonlight.

Nick paid the taxi driver, telling him he didn't need to wait, and turned towards the house. He took a deep breath. He hoped that Jess was already here, that he could get the speech he had planned out over and done with. He walked up the steps and knocked on the door.

No one answered.

He knocked again, and this time rang the doorbell. He knew it was late, and was sure he was going to wake someone up, but he really didn't want to spend the night on the front porch.

Thankfully, someone answered the door that second time.

"Nick?" Joan answered, confused but also pleased to see him. She then felt a pang of guilt; she had encouraged Jess to go out with Sam.

"Hi Joan," Nick gave a nervous smile and a little wave. "Uh, is Jess home?" He felt like a ten year old, asking if his friend could come out to play.

"I'm sorry. She hasn't gotten home yet," her facial features softened. She could see the pain in his eyes, like the weight of the world was on his shoulders. "Come in, don't want you to catch a cold." She pulled Nick in and then gathered him into a hug. "It's so good to see you Nick."

Nick heard footsteps coming down a set of stairs. His heart skipped a beat, forgetting for a moment that Joan had said Jess wasn't there. Abby walked into view and gave him a big old smile.

"Aw if it isn't little Nicky," she teased.

"Hey Abby." Nick couldn't help but smile a little. Abby was crazy, but she was still Jess's sister and a lot of fun to be around.

"I'm sorry Jess isn't here," She looked regretful. "I left her at the bar to take Joe home. I thought she'd make it home before me…" She trailed off, not wanting to hurt Nick by letting him think that Jess was out with another guy, even if that were the truth.

The three of them stood there in silence for what seemed like eternity.

"Let me get you a drink." Joan finally said, breaking the silence. She took Nick into the kitchen, and Abby excused herself back to bed. "What can I get you?" She said as Nick sat down at the counter.

"What you got?" Nick asked. He hoped she had something strong.

"Wine, beer, vodka, scotch, pretty much anything you could ever want. I like to be well stocked." She gave a little laugh to herself like it was joke only she knew.

"I'll have a scotch on the rocks."

"One scotch on the rocks coming right up," Joan chimed. She grabbed a glass from the cupboard, put some Ice in the glass, and poured some amber liquid in for him to drink. She handed him the glass which he downed half in almost one gulp.

"Whoo!" He said before drinking the rest of the scotch. "Thanks Joan, I needed that."

"No problem Nick." She grabbed the glass and filled it back up before handing it back to him.

This time Nick didn't drink it as fast, but instead let himself enjoy it as he took small sips.

"Can I ask you a question Nick?"

"Of course, shoot."

"What are you doing here? Not that I don't mind, but Jess is my daughter, so I need to look out for her."

"You have every right to ask and I will tell you." He took another sip, this one bigger than the ones before. "I love your daughter, Jessica. My life has not been the same without her. Every day that she has been gone, I have felt so empty, with no purpose. I never wanted to hurt her, and I regret the day that girl moved in downstairs." Nick was surprised at how loose he was being about his feelings. Maybe it was the alcohol. Maybe it was the effect Jess had been having on his since they got together. No matter the reason, he was glad to get his feelings out.

"I believe you love her Nick," Joan came put her hands on the counter and leaned towards him. "I know Jess loves you, but I know she is hurt, and I think she is scared too. I think that Jess still is afraid that she is going to end up like her father and I."

Nick looked down at his glass. He wished he could say that things would be different, but her father had told Nick that he was like him. Even though Jess told him time and time again that he wasn't, Nick still harbored his own fear that he really was. At that thought, he through back the last of the scotch down his throat.

"I know Joan." Nick finally got out. Nick yawned, the night finally catching up to him.

"Let me show you the guest room." Joan offered.

"No. It's fine. I would actually rather stay out here in case Jess makes it home."

"I'll grab you some blankets and pillows then." Joan went upstairs for a moment then returned with a handful of blankets and pillows. She set them on the couch for Nick to use.

"Goodnight Nick." She gave Nick another hug when he met her over at the couch.

"'Night," Nick replied.

He sat on the couch, took his shoes off and pulled one of the blankets over him. He started to play a game on his phone, hoping to keep awake, but he couldn't keep his eyes open for very long.


	8. Chapter 8

Jess lowered herself on the bed, Sam hovering over her, kissing her neck. He moved lower to her chest and started kissing the exposed flesh. Jess squirmed under the feel of his all too familiar lips. He looked found his way back up to her lips and kissed her gently. Then looked up and smiled.

"I've missed this so much," Sam purred, before burying his face into her neck again.

He started sliding his hand up her leg and under the skirt her dress. The closer he got, the wider Jess's eyes became. _What am I doing?_ She thought. It felt so great to be with Sam but she didn't love him. She didn't even want him back as a boyfriend.

She put her hands on his chest and pushed him slightly away, allowing her room to sit up.

"Sam, I'm sorry. I can't do this. I shouldn't be here." She tucked her legs underneath her, and grabbed Sam's hand, "It's not fair to you."

He looked down at their hands, and then slowly pulled away. "I'm sorry Jess. I don't know what I was thinking. I got ahead of myself."

They sat in silence for a few moments, not looking at each other.

"Can you take me home now please?" Jess asked. She got up off the bed, putting her shoes back on that had ended up on the side of the bed.

"Of course," he replied.

He took her down to his car in the underground parking lot of the hotel. He opened her door, always the gentleman. As they drove, she tried to make small talk, hoping to make light of the situation. She felt too awkward sitting there in silence. He followed the directions to Jess's mom's house that Jess had plugged into his GPS.

He pulled into the drive way to the house. He got out and went to her side of the car to open the door for her. He walked up with her to the porch.

Jess turned to him, "I really am sorry Sam. Maybe if things were different…" she trailed off.

"Don't say that Jess." He sighed. "I think it's always been him."

That comment through her off guard. How was it that everyone around her had seen the way Nick felt about her, before she even knew? And now that she left Nick in L.A., would he still feel the same way? He hadn't contacted her since she came to Portland. He didn't drunkenly call her and beg her to come home like he had with Caroline.

_Maybe he didn't love me as much as everyone says he does. _She thought to herself

Sam could see the sad look in her eyes that followed whenever Nick was mentioned. He pulled her into a hug and kissed her forehead.

"Goodbye Jess." He tried to choke back the sadness in his own voice, "good luck with everything."

"Bye Dr. Sam," she waved at him as he walked back down to the car, and watched him drive away.

She turned towards the house and sighed. She was very grateful that she hadn't actually slept with Sam; she would feel even worse than she did already for kissing him. She wanted to take a shower, wash his smell and the memories away down the drain. She pulled her key to the house out of her purse. She wondered if Abby had made it home already, and how mad she would be if she went and woke her up.

She unlocked the door and carefully stepped inside. The house was dark. Jess carefully made her way across the entry hall and towards the stairs to head up to her room. Her eyes hadn't quiet adjusted, as well as the alcohol hadn't fully worn off, so she kept bumping into furniture that she swore wasn't there early. She hit into a side table and a decorative wooden bowl threatened to fall off the side, causing Jess to swear loudly. The noise caused someone on the couch to make a strange snorting sound.

She paused. _Am I in the wrong house?_ Was her first thought, but realized that was stupid as she had unlocked the house with her own key. She grabbed an umbrella that was perched against the wall, arming herself in case it was an intruder. _That's ridiculous Jess. An intruder wouldn't be sleeping on the couch!_ But even so, she lifted the umbrella high above her head and crept towards the couch, making sure to not make any more sound. She peaked around the back of the couch, but the sleeping figure's face was covered by a mountain of blankets and pillows. She put her free hand on the couch, guiding her towards this stranger. A thought stopped her, _What if it's Joe?_ She pushed that thought aside. Abby wouldn't have kicked Joe out on the couch; it wasn't like her.

She continued to creep around, making sure to not breathe too loudly. She got by the figure's face, umbrella held high, she pulled the blankets from off the figure while a strange tribal yell escaped from her throat.

"Nick?" Jess scrambled back.

At the same time Nick shot up screaming, "What are you doing?"

"What are you doing here?" Jess asked, too in shock to answer his question.

Nick looked at Jess. He was still in the process of waking up, so he wasn't sure if this was real or a dream. He realized only real life Jess would do something as crazy as try to hit him with an umbrella, so he finally answered, "I came to see you Jess."

Realizing she still held the umbrella high above her head and surprised she hadn't woken anyone else up, she put it down at his simple confession. _What a night. _She wanted more than anything to wrap her arms around his neck. She had missed him immensely. But she hesitated. She could still feel Sam's touch, his lips on hers. She felt guilty and dirty all of a sudden. She looked away from Nick, not wanting him to see the shame in her eyes. _But why should I feel guilty?_ She thought. They were broken up. She wasn't technically Nick's girl anymore.

She was overcome with emotion, the weight of tonight's events washing over her. She sat down on the open arm chair and put her head in her hands, tears starting to flow. How was she any better than what she was upset with Nick about? And Nick hadn't even really kissed Michelle or even wanted to, but yet Jess had kissed Sam and came very close to sleeping with him.

Nick sat up. "Jess, what's wrong? Should I not have come?" she could hear the worry in his voice, but he didn't move over to comfort her, most likely keeping distance for her sake.

"I kissed Sam," She blurted out. "I was with him tonight and I got a bit drunk and we kissed." She talked fast, spilling everything out. She didn't know if he was following or not, and she couldn't look at his face. She knew he would be hurt and disappointed. "But nothing else happened." She said quietly, looking at her hands.

Nick didn't say anything for a long time. She wondered if he had maybe fallen back asleep. She looked up at him through her eyelashes. He had his face covered by his hands, so she thankfully couldn't see his eyes.

"Nick…" She whimpered. "Please say something."

He brought his hands down. She shouldn't have been surprised to see anger in his eyes, but she was. It was worse than seeing hurt or disappointment in them.

He stared at her for a moment, opening his mouth to say something, then closing it right back shut. His jaw moved the way it did when he his mind was working out the right thing to say.

"What do you want me to say Jess?" he finally got out. His voice low and slow, enunciating each word. He closed his eyes, trying to keep his anger in check, but his voice rose anyways. "You get upset at me for another woman kissing me, whom I didn't even want to kiss or kiss back. But _you _run away to another man's arms? What am I supposed to think, Jessica?"

He was standing up now. Jess wasn't afraid that Nick was angry. It just made her feel even worse. She was sure that if they were back at the apartment, he would be at the sink by now, trying to angry fix it.

"I'm know, Nick." She braved a look into his eyes, hoping he could see how sincere she was. "You are right. I shouldn't have run away. I shouldn't have gone with Sam. I especially shouldn't have doubted you." She sighed, hot tears running down her face.

Jess could see Nick's face soften a little, but the anger was still there. She saw something move out of the corner of her eye. Abby was peaking around the corner down the stairs. _How much has she heard?_ Jess wondered. She felt even worse. Her and Nick's arguing probably woke her up. Nick looked over, following Jess's gaze.

"Shit," he said, rather quietly. "I'm sorry Abby. I forgot where I was."

Abby walked down the stairs and gave Nick a sympathetic look. She grabbed Jess's arm and started to pull her upstairs.

"I think it would be best to continue this conversation tomorrow. You both need some sleep."

All Nick could do was nod in agreement. Jess allowed Abby to lead her up the stairs and into her bedroom. She let Abby help her into pajamas and lay on the bed with Jess, letting her cry. Abby ran her hand through Jess's hair, trying her best to comfort her sister. It calmed Jess having someone else with her through the night that she easily fell asleep.


	9. Chapter 9

Nick couldn't sleep. He came to Portland expecting the worst but it still didn't change the fact that he was furious. He was furious with himself for letting Jess leave, for not fighting for her to stay and work things out with him. He was furious at Jess for leaving him in L.A. and going out with another man, an ex-boyfriend, and almost _sleeping_ with him. He was furious with Sam for having the audacity to make a move on Jess when she was trying to figure things out and not in her right mind.

He tossed and turned all night, finally giving up on sleep all together. He felt like a stranger in Joan's home, even though he knew he shouldn't. He wanted a drink but didn't feel welcome enough to raid her fridge for a beer. He tried to count sheep like they did in the old cartoons he used to watch, and it only made him more awake because he started to think about how fluffy and soft sheep were. He pulled his phone out. He didn't have anyone to call or talk to. The sun was about to come up and he didn't want needlessly wake anyone up.

He mindlessly went through his wallet and saw the business card of the cabbie that had drove him here. He realized he must have dialed the number because a gruff voice answered on the other end and Nick gave him the address to the house. He must have decided to just fly back to L.A. He didn't think he could face Jess in the morning; he was hurting too much.

Nick went outside to wait on the porch. It was a little chilly, but he didn't want the cab driver to wake anyone up. About a half hour later, he saw the familiar yellow car pull into the driveway. It was a different driver from earlier, but thankfully this one wasn't too keen on making small talk, which allowed Nick to gaze out the window as the scenery burred by.

The driver dropped him off at the front of the airport. Nick paid him, not even caring that he probably over paid, and moseyed on in to purchase a one way ticket home.

Luckily, there was a flight leaving in a couple hours, and Nick was able to get right on it. He paid the ticketing agent the money, heart heavy that he spent so much for a broken heart. He went through security and walked slowly towards his terminal and gate, in no hurry to get there. When he finally made it, he sat down in the first unoccupied chair he spotted and collapsed into it. He closed his eyes for just a moment he thought, but the next thing he knew, they were announcing that they were about to board his flight. He rubbed at his eyes and smacked his cheeks to wake himself up a little and took his place in line.

The flight home was nothing special. He was able to catch a little bit of sleep, the humming of the plane relaxing to listen to. He even slept through the announcement that they could disembark from the plane. One of the flight attendants woke him up gently. Nick mumbled an apology and made his way out the door.

As he drifted through the terminal to leave, he dialed up Schmidt.

"What up man, you win her back?" Schmidt said, trying to sound cool. Nick figured he must have a lady friend over, one who was most likely significantly younger than Schmidt.

"No, Schmidt. And I hate it when you talk like that." Nick called him out. "Look I need a ride home from the airport. I would call a taxi but I am kind of broke right now. I used to all my money for a trip that got me nothing but heartache." Nick's voice broke. He was about to start crying in the middle of LAX, surrounded by the morning rush of flyers.

Nick heard Schmidt sigh on the other end. "I'm sorry Nick. I'll be right there." His voice was normal now. No hint of his usually douchebaggery.

Schmidt hung up. Nick was exhausted. He was so glad he didn't have a shift at the bar today, which meant he could go home and sleep away the pain. He found a bench and made his mind go blank while he waited. He didn't want to think about Jess at all. It hurt him too much. So he figured the best thing to do would be to not think about anything at all, because so many things reminded him of Jess.

After what seemed like forever, Schmidt drove up. Nick stood up, feeling like an even older man than usual, and got in the front seat.

They sat in silence for a little while, until Schmidt turned to Nick. He opened and closed his mouth a few times until he finally got out, "So Jess didn't come back with you?"

Nick's face twisted into a painful expression, just from the sound of her name. "No," was all Nick could get out.

"What happened? Is she staying in Portland? Is she going to move out of the apartment?" Schmidt bombarded him.

"I don't know Schmidt! I don't want to talk about it! I just want get home, fall asleep and forget all about her!" Nick yelled causing Schmidt to flinch.

Schmidt frowned. Nick could see on his face that he was hurt that Nick yelled at him like that, but at this point Nick didn't care. Schmidt should have kept his trap shut and let Nick be. They didn't say anything for the remainder of the trip home; neither did they speak in the elevator. But before Schmidt went into his apartment, he turned and gave quick apology to Nick.

"I'm sorry, Nick. Whatever happened, she doesn't deserve you."

"Thanks," Nick mumbled back. He entered apartment 4D and made his way into his room. Hand up at the side of his head to block Jess's room from his view. He slammed his door and threw himself on his bed. He was asleep in and instant.

Nick had a dream that he lived in a white house, with a white picket fence. He had just come home from a day at the office. As he drove up his son ran outside, mitt in hand, ready to play catch with his dad. Nick got out of the car and ruffled the hair on his head. His son gave him big hug, proclaiming his excitement that his best pal was finally home.

Nick told him he needed to go inside before they could play and his son told him not to go inside. Nick chuckled at the thought on why he couldn't go inside his own house. He decided to play this game with his son, asking him if there was a monster in the house.

"No Daddy there's a man in there that isn't you," his son said nonchalantly. "But the man was kissing mommy's neck. Not her head like she kisses me and not on the lips like you and mommy kiss."

Nick started to run inside, not listening anymore to what his son was saying, but the words replayed like a record player, seeming to surround his head. His mind spun and the world seemed to twist and turn around him. He looked for his wife in the kitchen, she wasn't there. He looked in the living room, she wasn't there either. He ran upstairs to their bedroom and he heard giggling, the sick feeling in his stomach getting stronger.

He slowly opened the door wider than the crack that was already there. What he was a tall man that he recognized as their children's pediatrician, naked and on top of his naked wife. Her blue eyes looked at him, her brown hair sprawled around her shoulders, all over the bed. She had no sign of remorse in her eyes, and a slight smile played on her lips. He ran down the stairs, needing to get away from the sight of his wife with another man, his feet like lead. The world moved around him slowly and when he finally reached the outside, his son through the ball at him. It hit him in the stomach and Nick fell on his knees on the pavement.

"I told you not to go inside." His son taunted.

Nick woke up and threw up in the trashcan next to his bed.


	10. Chapter 10

Nick was so sick. He had always scoffed when people said the flu made them feel as if they had been hit by a truck, but now he took it all back. It really did feel like he was hit by some large and heavy vehicle. He was glad he kept a small garbage can close to his bed, his room may be messy, but he didn't want to get vomit all over the place.

It was a constant cycle for him. He would sleep for an hour or so, wake up moaning and groaning, his eyes barely open because any little bit of light made his brain feel like it was going to explode. He would try to hold things down but eventually lost the battle, and he would grab his trash can once more. He wished he'd had some of his mom's quilts because he was absolutely freezing and his thin blankets weren't cutting it.

At some point, Schmidt, Winston, or someone must have come in and put more blankets over him, and a cool wet rag on his head. He was grateful to have such great roommates. He opened his eyes, preparing to wince at the light, but he was surprised to see his room was rather dark. He realized he had been in bed all day. For a moment he worried he missed work but remembered he was scheduled off for two days. He really hoped that's all the time he would need to recover because he desperately needed money.

He let his eyes adjust to the dark room. He saw a glass of water on his nightstand which he greedily drank. He could feel it sloshing around in his empty stomach and he realized how hungry he was.

He tried to push himself up; his body ached all over. His arms buckled beneath his weight, so he collapsed back down on the bed. He groaned, frustrated at how helpless he felt. How could something as stupid as the flu make a man so weak? He wasn't sure what time it was, but he hoped maybe one of his roommates was awake and within earshot.

"Winston? Coach?" He croaked out. His voice was quieter than he had hoped, so he shouted their names again, this time at a volume that he was confident they could hear.

He heard some shuffling outside his door. The nob turned and his eyes went wide when he saw who it was.

Jess woke up the next morning. She had a headache from crying all night. Her sister Abby had held her all night, and though it was comforting, she ached in longing for the man sleeping downstairs.

She was angry with herself. Nick had done nothing wrong in the first place, but her insecurities and fears had caused her to run away from the only man she really wanted. And now she feared she had lost him forever.

The carefully pried herself out of Abby's arms and tip toed out the door. She hoped that after a night's sleep that Nick would have a clearer head, and maybe they could work things out. She made her way slowly down the stairs. She knew that if she woke Nick up wrong, he could be quite the bear.

Her heart sunk when she saw the folded blankets on the couch, but no Nick. _Maybe he is just using the bathroom?_ She tried to hope. But she knew inside that he had left.

She sent a group text to the guys. _Did Nick come home? _She asked them.

_Yes. I picked him up this morning. _Schmidt was the only one to respond, so she guessed the others were either asleep or busy doing something else.

She was glad he was somewhere safe and not wandering the streets of Portland to find and kill Sam.

She went into the kitchen and pulled out her mom's kettle, filled it with water, and set it to heat up on the stove. She couldn't go back to sleep now. As she waited for the signature whistle of the kettle to blow, her mom came down the stairs, wearing a pajama set that Jess had given her for Christmas a couple years ago.

"You're up early Jujube." She sat at the counter with Jess.

"Yeah, I woke up and couldn't get back to sleep. Nick's gone." She said as matter of fact.

"I noticed." Joan got up and put her arm around Jess.

"I don't know what happened last night, but I do know that boy loves you very much."

Jess started sobbing, surprised she still had tears from all the crying she did last night. "I think he hates me now!" She turned her head and continued to cry in her mom's shoulder.

"Shhhhh," Her mom rubbed her back like she did when Jess was a little girl, "It's okay. Nick could never hate you."

"I don't know…" Jess said, looking up at her mom, wiping at her nose and eyes. "I kissed Sam last night. I shouldn't have but I was upset and Sam was there…" she tried to justify it to herself but the truth was she did it and she couldn't take it back.

The kettle startled to whistle. Jess got up but her mom stopped her and went to take it off herself. She grabbed two mugs and some chamomile tea from the cupboard, then prepared the cups for her and Jess. She gave Jess her mug before going back around to sit by her daughter.

"Jess, I know you feel bad. You are a wonderful girl, but even you can make mistakes." She grabbed Jess's hand and gave it a squeeze. You just need to show Nick how sorry you are, show him how much you love him. If you really want to be with him, you are going to have to fight for it. Don't accept defeat this early on."

Jess gave her mom a small smile. "Thanks. You always know just what to say." She stared at her mug of tea for a moment, and then took a sip. "What do I do now?"

"Well," she patted the top of Jess's hand, "I think you have two choices here. You can stay here with me, forget about Nick, and we can solve crimes like we always talked about doing. Or you can go after Nick and win him back."

Jess nodded. She was tempted to stay with her mom, but also knew the choice she had to make.

She gulped down the rest of her tea and jogged up to her room, somehow rejuvenated after that supposedly relaxing tea. Abby was still asleep so she tiptoed around her as she packed up her things and changed her clothes. She booked a flight that left in a few hours on her phone before sitting on the bed next to her sister.

She rubbed Abby's arm, gently waking her up. "Hey Abby Day," Jess sang softly to her sister.

Abby stirred, murmuring about some wicked hangover she had and telling Jess to leave her alone.

"I'm going back to L.A., Abby," she rubbed her sister's back, which was now facing her. "I wanted to say goodbye."

Abby rubbed at her eyes and turned to face her sister. Jess was glad she hadn't turned on the light, because she knew her sister would have yelled at her for it.

"You're leaving already? Did you and Nick make up so you're going home with him?" her sister asked.

"No, I'm going alone; he left sometime this morning. But I _am_ going after him. I was stupid to leave him in the first place. We had something amazing and I let my insecurities get to me."

"I could have told you that." Abby muttered.

Jess lightly punched her sister's arm, but they both laughed.

"I need to get to the airport. Mom's going to drive me," she gave her sister a hug and kissed her forehead.

Abby nodded then turned over and closed her eyes.

Joan already had the car ready to go. Jess just had to load her things into the car, and they were off.

Joan was great at distracting Jess during the ride home, telling Jess she needed to visit more often, saying that Abby needed to find a nice guy and settle down soon, and talking about the new guy at work who kept asking her out. Jess nodded and gave her the appropriate responses. She had heard these things before, but she didn't mind the repetition.

Before Jess knew it, they were at the airport. Her mom helped her unload her stuff and gave her a long hug. Jess was sad to leave her mom, but she was a little relieved to go back to L.A. She missed the guys and she missed the kids at school. She quickly checked in and got her boarding pass and made her way to the terminal.

The closer the plane got to L.A., the more butterflies showed up in Jess's stomach. She didn't know what she was going to say to Nick. She had thought about just a simple sorry, which would probably work, because Nick could be pretty simple sometimes. She thought she could just throw her arms around him and take him right then and there, and then all would be forgiven, but she knew Nick enough to know that wouldn't fly with him. She thought about renting a mariachi band to serenade him outside his window, singing him a song of lost love and regrets, but that seemed too cheesy, and Nick would probably throw something out the window at them.

Whatever she did, it needed to show how sincere she was, and also work. She didn't know what she would do if he never forgave her.

The flight landed and she texted Cece as soon as the flight attendant announced they could turn their electronics back on.

She waited outside on a bench, waiting for Cece to pick her up. By now her stomach was doing a gymnastics routine.

Cece pulled up and got out of the car to help Jess, but not before giving her a big hug.

"I've missed you girl!" Cece squealed, and then quietly added, "How are you feeling?"

"Honestly, like I want to throw up!" Just hugged her best friend one more time, Cece always helped her feel so grounded.

They got in the car and chatted on their way to Jess's apartment. Jess caught Cece up with what happened last night. Cece berated her, like a best friend should, for kissing Sam, but was also sympathetic to her plight.

"So what do you think I should do? How do I show Nick that I am truly sorry for everything; show him that I messed up and I need him back in my life."

"Babe," Cece put took her hand off the wheel for a moment, to pat Jess's leg. "Just be yourself. Nick's may be a little crazy, but he's a smart man. Plus he is crazy about you. You should have seen him while you were gone! He was going crazy. He thought he was handling things pretty well, but _I_ had to correct a lot of his mistakes at the bar."

Jess laughed, making her feel a little better. They moved on to other subjects. How the bartender job was going, how the models were doing, and how they knew they needed to go see Sadie and Melissa sometime soon. Before Jess knew it, they were in front of the apartment. Jess felt dizzy.

"Just give me a moment. I don't know what I'm walking into." She grabbed the door handle to keep her grounded.

"Let me get your stuff. I'll walk you up." Cece volunteered.

She grabbed Jess's things from the back and waited for Jess to get out of the car. Jess took a deep breath and muttered to herself that she could do this. She opened the door and stood up straight and tall. She kept telling herself she could do it, making her feel like the Little Engine that Could. They walked up the stairs, Jess feeling heavier with each step she took, all the while still muttering to herself. She was grateful Cece didn't look at her crazy.

They opened the apartment door, and walked in. It was surprisingly quiet. She secretly hoped that Nick may be gone, so she could prepare herself a little more. She walked into her room, noticing on the way that Nick's door was open a little.

"I'll bring the rest of your stuff over from my apartment later. You sure you want to stay here tonight?" Cece offered.

"Yeah, I need to stop running away."

Cece nodded and gave her best friend a quick hug then went on her way to her shift at the bar. Jess sat on her bed and sighed.

"What now?" She said aloud to herself.

In response she heard groaning from the next room. She had thought she was alone. She stood up and walked out of her room. She looked up and down the hall. She knew the groan had come from Nick's room. She carefully crossed the space between their two doors and lifted her hand to knock.

She hesitated. _What if he's not alone?_ She thought. She shook that thought from her head. She knew the noises Nick made and knew that was not a sexual noise of his. _He must be sick._

She slowly opened the door the rest of the way and saw Nick curled up on his bed. His blankets were everywhere and he was clutching his stomach in his sleep. She tiptoed over to him, careful to not knock over the garbage can full of throw up that she smelled, and put her hand on his forehead; he was burning up. All her worries about what was going to happen melted away. She was now in nurse mode and knew she needed to take care of Nick, because he definitely couldn't take care of himself.

She took carefully rolled him onto his back and tucked his blanket back around him. She grabbed a washcloth from the bathroom and ran it under the water. She rang out the cloth so it wouldn't drip all over the place and get Nick's pillow wet. She went back into his room and folded it before laying it on his forehead. She couldn't help but run her hand through his hair; she missed touching him. She didn't know how long he had been sleeping, but she knew he must be hungry, or at the very least thirsty. She went to the kitchen to grab him a glass of water. She set it on his night stand before going back into the kitchen to heat up a can of chicken noodle soup.

She was putting a packet of saltines on the tray next to the finished bowl of soup, when she heard Nick yelling out for their other roommates. She picked up the tray and took a deep breath before heading back to Nick's room.

She opened the door, balancing the tray in one arm.

"Hey Nick," Jess said cheerily, hoping to mask the pang of longing in her chest. "I brought you some soup!"


End file.
